The Journey | First Decade of 21st Century (Part II)

For those who just read this posting, please read the previous one as being the first part of this story:
http://yniethejourney.blogspot.com/2009/12/ynie-journey-of-first-decade-in-21st.html

Year 2008

I can say that 2008 is one of the biggest years of my entire life. It was happened to be significantly changing my life and of course, like the other years, I had a lots of up and down moments during the year. So, 2008 had changed my life, or I should say, I change my own world.

First half year of 2008 was pretty hectic for me as that was my final semester in university. At the same time, I was trying to find an office job that might help me to gain work experience related with my study (as I thought that would boost up the value of my resume). So, I managed to get an office job with low pay while I also had to work in another place to keep maintaining my financial condition. Even more, I started to do a regular visit to a chiropractic. Shortly speaking, my days had been fully packed and I had no day-off for the whole semester.

At the same time, I lost someone that I thought to be one of my best friends or the closest person within my entire life. I decided that I should have moved on and walked away. Still, I was devastated at some points until I suddenly got that 'call'. It was like a 'call' from my heart telling me that I should change; my personality, attitudes, character, and many more. My mind told me to keep walking and trying to find the real meaning of my whole life.

In fact, 2008 suddenly became the year when everyone around me telling these words exactly the same,
"You can do everything you want, Yenny. You have such power and whatever you wanna do, you can do it. We believe in you and we put a trust on you". And they were my mom, my best friend, my just-meet friend, my just-know-each-other friend and many more.

Honestly, I was amazed of what people had thought about me and about my power. It seemed that they would expect me to be able to change the world. In fact, their thinking had encouraged me to keep being a better person from time to time.

So once I decided to change my life to the better, I decided to go somewhere new, with someone new in somewhat new situation. It was when I went to Christchurch to join an 'Australia and New Zealand Buddhist Youth Conference 2009' that was held by one of Buddhist youth organisation in Sydney.

After being 'enlightened' to make a change, I managed to visit this certain temple located at Sydney city (and I thought people usually start to be more religious when they devastated, etc). It was then I found out this event that was being organised by the organisation. Without second or thousand thinking, I decided to give it a go.

So there I was, in the middle of New Zealand, accompanied by totally new people (as I knew no-one before) in somewhat called buddhist youth conference. Shortly speaking, it wasn't as religious as it sounds, still, I learned a lot from this new experience. Not only in perspective of religion, but also in perspective about life generally in the eyes of common people.

Can you find me?

Few months after coming back from Christchurch, I graduated from university. Finally, after being at school for 15 years, I could finish off everything. It was a huge relief that I had done them all, yet I started to get confused for what should I do for the next step coming into the real life. Luckily, I managed to get a full-time job just before I graduated, so I was 'safe' in terms of career while I was also waiting for my Permanent Residence visa.

Snapshot of my pretty face (noticed my father was behind me, busy recording everything in his lovely handicam)

Obviously, that was the happiest moment during the year. While I was totally glad for finishing uni and get to work full time straight after, I also gained some weight as a result of not being stress at all (note: gain weight is one of my life goals as I was keep being skinny and I really hate when people called me 'an iron board').


But nothing last forever, including happiness. Soon after the graduation, most of my friends left Sydney for good. They came back to their hometown to run their parents' business. I felt so miserable as I thought I would be stay alone here in Sydney.

 Before everyone left Sydney

Not long after missing friends, I found out that my closest friend had finally replaced me with someone else. Plus, I found that my grandmother passed away on 5 December 2008. I wasn't close to her, still, it was totally hurt to imagine that I couldn't see her anymore.

Year 2009

Apart from losing people around, I do realise that I still had to keep moving on in this world. So, I kept making my self busy by joining several events held by the buddhist youth organisation. I was involved in managing some of those events and it was good. Good because I got new experiences and meet new people; good for distracting my mind and body so that I didn't get overwhelmed of feeling lonely.

Also, I started to realise that I've still got many other friends in Sydney. So, we also hang out for few times and I could say that they are really good people whom you might want to consider as good friends for your entire life. 

My paintball team (note: I don't think I will have another game)

More importantly, I finally found someone.

I didn't expect to finally getting along with this person as initially, to be truly honest to you guys, this person was totally annoying.

I mean, seriously, if I could make a wish and day dreaming of who would by my prince (as what girl usually think of, so I use 'prince'), I would never ever think of this kind of guy.

Shortly speaking, he liked to make me annoyed and we liked to fight each other. But who would know what exactly can happen tommorow and who are you going to meet exactly in the future? Noone. And so do I.

So, I ended up being in a relationship with him. And to make a simple short summary, he is a 3B for me, 'Big Brother, Best Friend and Best Man'.

Simply because I couldn't see him only in a romance story, yet he is rather my spiritual friend and I can see that he will walk by my side, no matter what kind of relationship we will end up to.

But he's still annoying till now.

Anyway, I also have got more journeys in 2009 that I had posted a couple months ago. If you are interested, please read the following link:
http://yniethejourney.blogspot.com/2009/10/udah-atau-belum.html

So that's about it. A brief summary of my journey during the first decade of 21st century. A part of my whole life that is significantly important for me being a teenager up to being a young adult. Now, if I want to make a deep reflection of these last 10 years, I could see that I was totally blessed and I couldn't stop being amazed of the dynamic of life. It is just so unpredictable, but human still can do something. As the saying goes, 'By doing good, you'll get the good'.

Now I couldn't wait to start another 10 years of journey and find myself somewhere in somewhat new life experience.

The Journey | First Decade of 21st Century (Part I)

2009 is ending and 2010 is coming soon.

It's not only about a new Year but a new Decade of 21st century indeed.

So, what have I done so far and what's happening within the first decade of 21st century? Let's see what I still have in my memories.

Year 2000

It all started in 2000. When the new millennium arrived, I still remember the 'chaos' around the world, talking rigorously of what would happen to this world upon the new millennium. In my memory, gold and silver colours were in fashion and the world seemed to get ready to the arrival of other species from other planets (or probably it's only me watching too much TV or movies). Also, I imagined that the traffic would be up on the sky, the cars would be flying around and traffic lights hanging around the sky. Now, when I'm thinking it back, I'm sure that it's only my exaggerated imagination.

Then, for my own life, I just started my junior high school. It was my first year back then and I thought I was still being a very naive girl and looked quite nerdy with the 'Dora-style' hair, thick-glasses, and very skinny body. Perhaps, in Simpson's, I will be a kind of Milhouse's best friend.


Year 2001

I still can clearly remember what was happening in the second half year of 2001. That time, I was in the third year of junior high school and my elder sisters were taking Mandarin private course. Back then, I was totally not interested to join them, but my parents told me to try for one or two times joining the class and see what would happen. So what really happened was I always fell asleep (coz the class was held in the evening, around 7-9pm).

Then, something truly happened. It was when Meteor Garden series firstly aired in Taiwan. So my sisters managed to get the Mandarin course in a language centre and this time, I joined along (it's not that I had been interested, but I thought I wanna do some stuff for afternoon school activities). Then one day, my friend told our teacher that she had this Mandarin DVD (of course it's pirated) of Taiwanese TV Series. So, our teacher allowed me to watch it for few minutes before class ended and those few minutes had actually changed my life.

It changed my life to the extent of my interest and my skill in Mandarin. I was suddenly getting very interested of watching these TV series, and along with it, I managed to get significantly higher grades in my Mandarin course. So, from 50/60 marks that I usually got for the test, I suddenly could easily achieve 90/100 marks. Haha!

And that was lasting for one year as my dad said that he was lazy to pick me up from Mandarin course, and so was I to keep 'maintaining' the course (and now I've got some kind of regret as I'm quite deaf for Mandarin while people are increasingly using it, d-a-m-n).

Year 2002

At the end of 2001, my second elder sister came to Australia for continuing her tertiary study. While I am 7-years apart from my eldest sister, I didn't have a close relationship with her. Yet, as there were only two of us, slowly but sure, we were getting close. As the saying goes, 'If something happens (esp. bad times), the family should be united'.

Then the big flood came to my hometown.

In 2002, Jakarta, especially in Kelapa Gading where my home is located, got a big flood. It wasn't a natural disaster, in my opinion, but it's rather human's fault. While we should had been concern with the environment, people just care about building more shopping centres and the more luxury, the bigger, the better (like what they thought). The good side is, I could feel the other people's feelings when they are facing disaster. And it's really a disaster, not something that you can play around like kids having fun with rain drops.

After the big flood, while the water could reach 1-2 metres high

Year 2003

Hmm...I don't think I have a particular memory. It was my first year (followed by second year) of high school. I was getting less nerdy with contact lenses, longer hair (good bye Dora), yet still became a shorty skinny girl. At first, I couldn't believe myself wearing grey skirt, as it means that I was in the highest school level. Still, what's the difference? I was still less interesting girl and even became a sharp and mean girl (that's what I thought of my self back then).

I still remember that I could hit the boys with a very sharp ruler (as it was made from metal) and I accidentally cut his hand (slightly). I was feeling guilty but I thought if I want people to respect me, I need to be fierce as I'm only a small and weak girl.

During the second half year of 2003, I wore braces for the first time. The reason why I did that, I forgot. Probably this is one of the attempts to get my self more attractive as a girl? (as I didn't think that I'm girly enough compared to my peers). I still remember the first few days I wearing the braces. I was totally quiet, only said some necessary words and my friends said that world suddenly became peaceful (huh!).

Anyway, I'm sorry guys for not being able to post any photos for each year. It's because I lost all my files the other day when I formatted the computer, so I'd lost all of my old pics. 


Year 2004

This year could be one of the most non-significant years within my first decade of 21st century. Let's see.

I was in my second year (to final year) of high school. What I can remember is the high school life which was full of exams, assignments, pressure from teachers, etc. But, it was getting better when I started the final year. Dunno why, but I think the toughest year in high school (or junior high) is the second year. While in the final year students are forced to study very very hard to pass the national final examinations, we, as students, do not want to waste our last moments in high school (means having more fun and getting slacked).

So then, my lazy study period begun. I admitted that I had been quite slacked, fallen asleep in class, copying my friend's notes afterwards, and asked for permissions for going back home earlier (i.e.: having appointment with dentist, attending university's information day, etc).

Year 2005

While I was quite slacking, I was totally aware of the importance of the final of final examinations. I was studying hard for that and got the fruit of my efforts eventually. Becoming one of the best students in my high school was one of the greatest and proudest achievements I have got so far (but it was high school after all, now, I don't think I can ever get it anymore).

And I graduated from high school. Yeah!

It was happy and sad moment at the same time. Happy as I was finally free from the obligations of going to school (now I prefer that obligation). Sad as I had to leave my friends and I was sure that we would never be the same anymore.

Then, on 26 September 2005, I arrived in Sydney. I was excited and afraid at the same time. I was excited to be in overseas and I was afraid of facing different life in Sydney. But I promised my self that I would work hard, either in study or working, so that I can survive in Sydney.Within the first month, I successfully got a job, first-time job as a casual crew member at fast-food restaurant, Hungry Jack's.

I remember my first days, still naive and totally unconfident. It wasn't easy though, being an international student and had to work at the same time. That time, I thought I would spend my whole life in Sydney only for studying hard (so that I could get high marks, as I initially thought) and working (so that I could finance myself living in Sydney). I thought I would never get a social life like the other students.

But later on, I proved my self that I was wrong.

Year 2006

It was my first time moving out in Sydney. Because of one situation that I couldn't specifically mention here, I and my sister had to find another place to live. And we eventually managed to live in one of my sister's friend place. It was an apartment where we share the rooms just like the other international people do in Sydney.


But there was a special thing, as I had to live with a dog.

Back then, I was totally afraid with a dog. Then, my sister's friend had a small dog (Maltese kind) and he was very cute. I didn't like him at the first time as he kept barking on me and my sister. But her friend said that means the dog was actually happy seeing us ( I didn't believe it though, I thought he was a naughty and dangerous dog). Yet, we had no choice and I finally had to live in the same room with this dog. And I loved him since after.

Unfortunately, due to certain circumstances, the dog had to be given to someone else. I really missed him even 'till now but I'm sure he's living very happily now.

By the way, I have another memory from 2006. In June 2006, I and my sisters, joined a 5-days tour to Hong Kong and China (Shenzhen). It was my first trip to those places and we got a chance to visit Hong Kong Disneyland that was just opened for few months.

@ Hong Kong Disneyland (while we were still quite skinny)

@ Madame Tussaud's Museum (noticed I was still wearing braces)

Year 2007

Another big flood happened in Jakarta. I didn't plan to come back to Indo during summer holiday (Dec 2006 - Feb 2007), yet, my mom told me that there was a specialist (for my certain health condition) that I might need to give a visit to. So, after having the exam of summer course, I managed to come back for 3 weeks. I still remember that time in Indo, my family looked pretty awful and messy. Then, I realised how people need to be tough when they face a disaster. Still, the good side is, I could feel my family bonding got tighter.

Unexpectedly, during 2007, I had been returning back to Indo for 3 times (i.e.: every semester holiday). It was because my second elder sister got married on December 2007.

Three sisters with our cousins

Also, during the second half-year 2007, I spent more times hanging out with friends. While previously I just studied and worked hard, I realised that I still need a social life to get my life balance. Of course, it will affect my financial balance.

But I wasn't regret it at all as I got more values than money. Like going to Snowy Mountain and tried skiing and kept falling down the hills for several times.

*to be continued*

Trend Bunuh Diri di Akhir Tahun 2009

Heboh bunuh diri.

Dalam seminggu terakhir, ternyata di Jakarta lagi gempar dengan berita bunuh diri. Dari dua berita yang gw baca, kejadian bunuh diri terjadi di kawasan Jakarta Utara, salah satunya di daerah tempat tinggal gw, Kelapa Gading. Dan uniknya lagi, kedua korban bunuh diri tersebut melompat dari lantai 11 gedung apartemen dan sebuah pusat perbelanjaan di Jakarta Utara.

Wah, coba kalo Detective Conan atau Sinichi Kudo ada di dunia nyata. Pastinya mereka ga bakal puas dengan hasil autopsi polisi yang menyatakan bahwa kedua korban ini adalah murni korban bunuh diri.

Kalau tertarik baca berita lengkapnya, bisa coba liat beberapa link di bawah ini:

http://megapolitan.kompas.com/read/xml/2009/12/14/23082435/gadis.12.tahun.lompat.dari.apartemen.city.home.

http://www.indosiar.com/patroli/83280/pria-bunuh-diri-di-mangga-dua-square

----------Breaking News-----------

Lagi nonton Oprah Winfrey - Christmas at The White House. Jadi termotivasi dengan pernyataan Obama,

"People are not looking back. Now what I'm looking for is what will we be in next 2 or 3 years. If I make right decision, this country will be a better place"

Do you believe that by aiming to be a better person will make this world to be a better place? I do.

Quote of The Day

"Continue even when it is hard to go on,  

难行能行， 

Release even when it is hard to let go, 

难舍能舍， 

Endure even when it is hard to bear,  

难 为能为 

This is how we build our character."  

才能升化自我的人格。

~Master Zheng Yan 

 证 严法师

He said: 'Wo ming bai'

China is ruling the world.

True or false?

Apparently, nowadays in a business world, China has become one of the most popular topics to be discussed among the experts of economy, finance or even politicians. Why?

You might have been aware that US is facing one of its largest economic downturns since 2008, which spreading the global financial crisis during 2009. While US is in its lowest side, China's economy seems to be growing rapidly. It sounds like Chinese are very welcome to foreign investments, 'What you want us to do, we can do it for you.'

No surprise, most of people can afford to buy Louis Vuitton handbags and any other luxury goods (if you know what I mean).

Or else, I've also heard that US had actually made some borrowings from China in order to help its economy recovery. Regardless it is true or not, the fact that China is growing more powerful seems to be undeniable.

In fact, I have another story that might prove the China economic growth has significantly affected people's wealth worldwide (apart from 90% products are 'Made in China').

One day, I called my friend who was busy looking for a job to fill-in his summer holiday (anyway, he should get a job due to his study requirement, so you name it, it's called internship).

Me: So, how's your job hunting?

Him: Yeah, I got an interview last couple of days ago. But...

Me: But what?

Him: Well, I think I'll tell you the whole story. The interview was going really well until he (the interviewer) asked me this question, 'Btw, you can speak Chinese, can't you?'

Me: Then, what did you say?

Him: So I thought, after all going so good, will I lose this opportunity just because I can't speak Chinese? Then, I said, 'Of course I can.'

Me: Oh no! Don't you tell me that you can't speak Chinese *LOL*

Him: I learned it when I was in high school. But you know, it's merely like 'Ni hao etc'. But, there's another question...

Me: What could be worse than that?

Him: Well, apparently I did some research about this company. But then, he informed me that I might have been sent to China for doing this job.

Me: *can't stop laughing* Oh. That's worse.

Him: Yeah, you tell me. You know what, before this thing happened, I've never thought that learning Chinese will become so important for my life. That by knowing how to speak Chinese will actually increase my chance of getting jobs. But now, I guess I need to get that language course.


In the following week, he got his second interview. This time, he would be interviewed by the manager who comes from China.

Me: So, how was it?

Him: At first, he started speaking Chinese and what I could only hear is, 'Ni hao ma?'

Me: Then, what did you say?

Him: I told him the truth and gave some bullshit to increase my chance of getting the job. I said to him that although I can't speak Chinese, he should see my qualifications and consider my skills instead. And he said that I'm quite brave to tell him all those things and he'll let me know by next week if I get the job or not.

Me: Not bad answers. *LOL* Sorry that I'm laughing, but honestly, I feel like I wanna 'cry' when I imagined your situation, it was hilarious. He was right, you're really brave to tell that lie at the first stage.

Him: Oh man, don't remind me again. I'm really crying you know...

Me: Hahahahaha...Oopss..sorry :p

Him: Btw, wanna join me for Chinese course next year?

So guys, I think you know the morale story. When it comes to job, make sure you can speak the language they require, or, if you wanna get more opportunities, it won't be a waste if you start learning Chinese from now on.

Coz who knows what will happen. There might be the time when 'Wo ming bai' replaces 'I understand.'

Btw, I'm getting addicted to Jay Chou's song 'Fa Ru Xue'. I guess, my karmic condition tells me to accept my self-truth that I'm totally Chinese.

Jaman SMA Emang Paling Seru!

Arrrgghh.....Gue kangen!

Haduh, abis liat foto2 temen2 SMA, gw jadi kangen banget ama mereka.

Gw jadi inget jaman SMA yang hepi bareng, stres bareng (gr2 ulangan tiap hari), gila bareng, jajan bareng, dihukum bareng, dijemur di depan tiang bendera bareng, bolos bareng, maen bola bareng (rame2 ama cowo juga), ke desa bareng, ulangan bareng di tangga sekolah, sampe akhirnya lulus bareng...

Parah. Gw bener2 kangen abis.

No offense, tapi di antara semua kenangan jaman sekolah, gw ngerasa jaman SMA tuh yang paling indah deh. Bukan indah secara harfiah, tapi jaman susah-senengnya itu bener2 ga bisa digantiin ama jaman yg laen.

Kenapa ya? Biasanya orang2 juga suka ngmg gt.

Well, mgkn kalo jaman SD, kita masih terlalu kecil, jadi banyak orang yg udah lupa ama kenangan2 waktu SD. Kalo jaman SMP sih jamannya ABG. Jaman yg lagi sok2 gaul dan suka ikut2an trend terbaru ato suka lomba2an cari pacar. Jadi mgkn banyak kenangan yang agak2 cupu.

Tapi kalo jaman SMA beda cerita. Jaman yang lagi pengen nikmatin masa2 terakhir sekolah, tapi sayangnya guru2 ga setuju sama hal itu, jadilah jaman SMA menjadi jaman penuh dengan penderitaan secara batin (akibat dijejelin ulangan tiap hari plus tekanan nilai yang pas buat lulus).

Nah, justru karena penuh penderitaan ini, kita2 anak SMA jadi lebih suka 'melanggar' aturan2 maen sekolah. Karena kita pengen cari hiburan sekaligus pengen nikmatin masa2 terakhir sekolah (kapan lagi liat tampang guru yg bete sama murid ato tingkah laku mereka wkt lagi ngehukum murid?)

Haaah...anyway, jaman SMA udah lewat.

~miss you, guys!

Sekarang jamannya menghadapi dunia nyata yang lebih seru lagi! Karena kita bisa bebas ngelakuin apa aja. Tapi inget, resiko ditanggung sendiri.

Be Wise by Getting Married

Ok. This is gonna be the last time for me talking about my friends' wedding.

Double strike.

Setelah gw shock berat kemaren mendengar berita bahwa adik kelas gw married, hari ini gw di-expose dengan berita temen gw (seangkatan), dua2nya, bakal merit hari Minggu ini.
Barusan gw kepo ngecek Facebook dan ngeliat foto2 prewedz mereka.

...

Oke. I think I should accept the fact that I'm getting old.

Getting old because everyone around me is suddenly getting married.

...

Nope. Wrong hypothesis. I think I should accept the fact of human's life-cycle.

Born-baby-child-teenager-youth-adult-married-old-die.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that marriage is wrong. I'm not saying that by getting married in my age is not right either.

In fact, I am really happy for the couples. I'm also getting excited regardless of my shock and exaggerated reactions.

I guess I just need to accept the reality of life.

While I'm planning ahead of something adventurous for my own life next year, so are the other people (by stepping into the next level of life).

While I'm thinking hard of what should I do to live this life at the fullest, so are the other people (by taking greater risk and commitment within this life).

While I'm thinking hard to do something meaningful in this life, so are the other people (by taking chance to create a new family on their own).

In fact, I'm not different than the others.

Perhaps, at this stage of life, I'm just walking on a different path of life.

Nevertheless, to be honest, I was a bit emotional (aka: terharu) when I looked at their pre-wedding photos. I just never expected that they will take this next stage of life sooner. I guess, what my friend said about our next reunion will come true.

'Next time we're having a reunion, there should have been someone bring along their babies' ('Till we meet again, friends. We'll see what it will be).

Anyway, I have some nice quotes today. In fact, this comes from my junior schoolmate that has just become a wifey today :)

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” ~ Buddha

There's no such thing as the perfect guy.
And there's no such thing as the perfect girl.
But only a less than perfect guy
And a less than perfect girl can make...
A perfect love.

Rasa Sayange: Indonesia or Malaysia?

I know it sounds very very B-A-S-I.

But I accidentally found a music video of Ah Niu, a Malaysian singer, of which 'Rasa Sayange' was included in the song.




I know you know that I know what you know.

That Rasa Sayange is supposed to be one of Indonesian ethnic songs.

Then, what the hell is going on here?

It really makes me want to say some words that I'm always avoiding to burst out of my mouth *wtf* (oke, I'm not saying it now, I'm just writing it down here).

Really, really, really annoying.

But well, I dunno the real truth whether this song is originated from which part of which country.

Still, I feel this is really really really annoying.

Freakin me or Everyone's married now?

It's Friday night!

and I'm already at home on 7pm.

Yah, sekali2 jadi anak penurut, pulang rumah sebelum gelap. Jadilah gw balik dari city sekitar jam 6 sore dan daripada gw ketiduran di train, iseng2 gw ngetwit and ngecek facebook dulu.

Sampai akhirnya gw ngeliat updated postingan dari ade kelas gw ke ade kelas gw yg lain (note: dua2nya gw kenal, mksdnya ga cuma sekedar tau, tapi kenal dan temenan).

Dan ketika gw ngebaca postingan itu, gw langsung punya 3 reaksi:

1. Mata membelalak (tapi ga gede2 banget berhubung gw sipit),
2. Mulut ternganga,
3. Kaleng kopi yang lagi gw pegang nyaris tumpah.

Dan itu semua karena...

My junior schoolmate is getting married today! (note: junior from my high school)

O-M-G.

Seriously, honestly, and totally....

I'm shocked.

Dia yang gw kenal sebagai cewe yang kocak, gokil, cuek, dan ga feminin, bakal married hari ini (bahkan mgkn detik gw lagi nulis ini post, jgn2 dia lagi 'ijab kabul' ato resepsi kali).

Oh noooo...!!! I miss my kodok! (it's her nickname by the way)

Even siapapun yang kepo ttg hal ini di facebook ato di mana pun juga, ga bakal bisa ngeliat foto2 narsis berdua, ato yg lagi sok2 romantis ala ABG, ato apapun juga.

Dok, you are totally crazy this time!

*oke yenny, relax, breath in, breath out*

Kontras.

Beberapa hari terakhir ini, gw lagi ngerencanain suatu perjalanan hidup yg somehow witty and adventurous at the end of 2010. Gw udah kebayang mo ngeliat sisi lain dunia, mo ketemu orang2 yg sama anehnya kyk gue, dan mengalami hal2 yang dulunya gw benci tapi skrg jadi tertarik banget.

Pokoknya gw ngebayangin diri gw akan melakukan sesuatu yang baru, yang bakal menambah warna dalam hidup gw (yg pasti bukan marriage, if you think that is something new for me to be experienced next year). 

Dan sekarang gw jadi ngerasa aneh beneran. Karena kyknya dunia di sekitar gw mikirnya beda. Marriage seems to be the most favourite life-experience that everyone should try (before 2012 perhaps?).

Oh crap. It doesn't sound right.

Hari ini Gila!

Hari ini gw menemukan beberapa hal menarik:

1. Temen kerja gw, orang Cina, ikutan demonstrasi menentang Dalai Lama yang dikabarkan pengen misahin Tibet dari Cina.

Tadi pagi dia bilang ke gw, 'Today I'll protest Dalai Lama,'
yang kedengerannya di kuping gw, 'I'll prostrate'.

Fyi, prostrate itu salah satu gesture religius yang biasanya dilakukan oleh umat kepada pemuka agama atau Tuhan.

Nah, jadi gw pikir dia mau menunjukkan rasa hormat ke Dalai Lama, bukan pengen demo. Dan karena gw salah satu umat Buddha, jadilah gw excited dan bilang, 'Oh really! I'm coming with you.' Trus dia bilang, 'Really? Do you wanna join me protesting?', barulah gw sadar kalo dia itu justru menentang Dalai Lama, bukan salah satu pengikut Dalai Lama. Gubrakkk!

Apart from that, kita oke2 aja sih. Meskipun kesannya agak sensitif (karena berhubungan dengan agama), tapi kita ga ngebahas pertentangan ini lebih lanjut. Bahkan, waktu dia balik dari demo, dia nyodorin kertas2 ke gw yg isinya pernyataan dari Dalai Lama. Dia bilang, dia setuju dengan Dalai Lama yang menyatakan kalo dia ga bermaksud memisahkan Tibet dari Cina, tapi dia cuma pengen Tibet punya hak autonomi yang lebih besar.

Well, personally, gw pernah baca sekilas sejarah Tibet. Dan, gw pikir sih memang lebih baik Tibet berpisah dari Cina. Mungkin karena sistem politik Cina yang komunis yang membuat gue ngerasa 'enggan' melihat negeri yang kering kerontang tapi sangat religius seperti Tibet berada di bawah kekuasaan Cina.

Tapi, namanya juga sebuah negara kecil (dulunya). Jadi ga heran deh 'kalah suara' sama Cina yang gedenya minta ampun. Apalagi sekarang Cina udah hampir nyaingin US dalam perekonomian. Untuk masalah ini, gw cukup salut sama Cina, tapi untuk komunisme yang masih dianut, gw ga setuju.

2. Tadi pas gw balik kerja, train-nya rame abis!

Bener2 serasa kyk ikan sarden. Padahal biasanya kalo udah jam 6-an lewat, train ga mestinya penuh2 banget. Seinget gw, peak hours itu berlangsung sekitar 5-6pm. Ga tau kenapa, tadi train yang gw naekin penuh banget. Ditambah....

3. Paling males dengerin musik yang disetel kenceng2 di Iphone, padahal orangnya udah pake handset.

Bingung gw, mestinya dia udah bisa denger lagunya kan. Ngapain juga sih volumenya mesti disetel sampe maksimum? Itu merusak gendang telinga sendiri kali. Ckckck...

4. Tadi gw cek Facebook, ketemu nama orang 'Bahagia'.

Wah, lucu juga nih. Ada ga ya orang yg namanya 'Ketawa' atau 'Senang' atau 'Sumringah'? (kalo yg terakhir, mungkin orang Jawa)

5. Ga sengaja ngeliat kaki orang yang bersepatu boot, dan mikir koq kakinya buluan ya?

Dan ternyata pas nengok ke atas (mukanya), emang cowo yang pake tuh boots. Buset deh, gw yang ketinggalan jaman ato emg dia yang pengen jadi kyk cewe ya? At least, pake celana panjang kali, biar bulu2nya ga keliatan mencuat2 keluar gitu.

Moral Stories of 2009 Journey

Pelajaran moral tahun 2009 yang bakal gw carry-forward buat taon depan:

1. Berani! Sometimes you just do what you need to do without thinking anything.

2. Menerima orang apa adanya. Karena setiap orang adalah manusia biasa. Mereka bisa melakukan kesalahan tapi bukan berarti mereka bukan orang baik.

3. Menerima diri sendiri apa adanya. This is the hardest part. Mesti bisa nerima kenyataan tentang diri sendiri, baik sifat yg suka moody, badan pendek, tampang cina sipit, mulut bawel, dll.

P.S: Forgive the recent postings of my random thoughts. This is because of the-end-of-year reflection syndrome.

Tweet: Hello, December!

Hot topic today in Twitter: ‘Hello, Desember!’

Yes. Everyone is welcoming December, the last month of the year 2009.

And so am I.

Btw, I think I should tell you guys about this important thing.

I finally joined Twitter.

Oke. Gw ngaku sekarang kalo gw akhirnya join Twitter. Setelah pernah berpikir secara skeptis tentang kehadiran Twitter yang kesannya ngikutin Facebook, setelah pernah ngerasa ‘get enough’ with these online networking sites and thought Facebook’s gonna be the last one for me, akhirnya gw nge-Twit juga.

Tapi sekarang gw sadar sih kalo Twitter itu beda sama Facebook ato sejenisnya. Twitter lebih kyk mini blog, di mana loe bisa nulis apa yang lagi loe pikirin ato loe alamin tanpa perlu panjang2 cerita. I know Facebook can do it, but for me personally, I kinda dislike Facebook these days coz it seems that everyone around the world is watching your current status, your profile, your photos, etc.

Even sometimes, people do need privacy.

Then, make the story short, I prefer twitting rather than facebook-ing.

Anyway, back to the topic of the day, ‘Welcome to December!’

Apa rencana kalian di bulan terakhir taon 2009 ini? Are you guys feeling excited for this month?

Apapun itu, mumpung masih taon 2009, mendingan buru2 beresin hal2 yang mesti dilakuin ato dikelarin. Bahkan kalo perlu, buang hal2 yang ga penting utk dibawa2 ke taon 2010.

Istilah komputer, delete application2 ato file2 yang ga penting, ga pernah dibuka, even ga sadar pernah exist di komputer. Jadi tar kalo taon 2010, Windows 8 tiba2 keluar, ato Google Gold tiba2 diluncurin, kalian masih punya banyak storage.

So guys, what are you waiting for? Think of what you wanna do for the last time in 2009 and get rid of what you think is rubbish in 2009!

Chop2! Time’s ticking…

I promise...

that I will do something unexpected,

in somewhere beyond Australia,

but somehow still witty,

during 2010.

I promise.

Please...

Remind me, in case if amnesia hits me.

Time to Make A Wish List

Arghhh....!!!

Gw malu.

Malu ama Kenny Sia (Malaysian blogger) yg hr ini berulang tahun yg ke-27 dan ngepost ttg 26 things that he's done in his 26-years of old-age.

D-a-m-n.

Gw  sepuluh hal aja kyknya kagak dapet nih di umur gw yg ke-22 ini (well, apparently I still have got 6 months to go before my bday).

Huh.


Oke. Kalo gt gw mo buat list baru ttg goals di tahun 2010. Tinggal sebulan lagi nih taon 2009. Udah saatnya kayaknya...

*berpikir*

Hmm...apparently gw udah punya bbrp goals sih buat taon depan. Secara gw ga mau nyia2in 365 hari yang (bakalan) buat umur gw tambah tua. Secara gw mau buat list ttg 23 things that I've done when I'm 23 years old. Secara gw mau jadi orang yg berguna bagi nusa dan bangsa dan juga keluarga tercinta (Oke, forget the last bit).

Anyway, I do have some goals. And I still think that having goals in life is really really important.

Really important khususnya buat org2 yang seumuran gw. Yang baru lulus kuliah, lepas dari masa2 sekolah, coba2 terjun bebas ke dunia kerja atau realita hidup yang ga sepenuhnya in our favour, yang masih ngebet2nya punya pacar kalo masih jomblo (akibat pengaruh ngeliatin temen2 yang udah pada 'maen double').

Biasanya nih, orang2 yg kyk gini (kyk gw sndiri) masih suka bingung ama tujuan hidup. Enaknya ngapain ya di dunia, begitu pemikiran orang2 pada umumnya. Tapi maaf sobat! Dunia ga seenak yang lu pengen. Dengan kata lain, dunia nyata itu ga seperti yang selalu kalian bayangkan.

Jadi, daripada luntang-lantung mikirin hidup loe enaknya gimana, mending buat list ttg apa yang pengen loe capai, loe mau jadi apa (klisenya, mimpi2 loe), dan sejenisnya. Niscaya, kalo loe punya goals, hidup loe bakal jadi lebih lurus ato fokus buat hal2 yg pengen loe capai.

Yah. Sounds simple (tinggal nulis aja apa susahnya, apalagi org2 indo). But do the practice and you'll know that your life can change somehow.

Perhaps next time, I'll share my goals bit here :)

Counting down to 2010...

Gue Nikah Muda?!

Gila!

Hari ini gw bisa gila rasanya! Setelah kerja seharian dan akhirnya kerjaan gw mesti di-restart dari awal, kemudian pulang ke rumah dengan celana yg ternyata robek, plus geladak-geledek langit yang nemenin gw jalan pulang ke rumah.

Kurang apa hari gue?

Hari gue kurang Facebook! Yes, you're right. Then I logged into Facebook for a while only for saying b'day to some of my friends.

Lalu apa yang terjadi?

Ga ada. Kecuali akhirnya gw end-up ngliat foto2 temen gw yg ternyata udah married, udah engaged, sampe ada temen gw yg baru update statusnya kalo dia pengen nikah muda.

Buset! Dunia kiamatnya bukan 2012, tapi 2010. Makanya orang2 pada cepet2 mo merit.

Hubungannya sama gw?

Ga ada. Kecuali gw jadi inget ama prediksi orang2 tentang hidup gw. Lebih tepatnya, kapan gw bakal merit.

Emang ga salah. Nih topik kayaknya bakal jadi hot topic of the year 2010 di antara temen2 seangkatan gw. Mungkin khususnya buat cewe2 yang udah pada lulus, trs pengen kerja males, ato udah pny cowo yg kurang lebih mapan baik secara warisan ataupun asli tenaga sendiri, trs jadi deh! *teng....teng...teng....*(wedding bell).

Oke. Itu prediksi gw tentang temen2 gw di tahun 2010. Tapi, gw tau pasti ada beberapa orang yg masih menunggu pernyataan dari gw ttg hidup gw sendiri.

Kalo ikutin komentar bbrp temen, bilangnya sih gini, 'Udah yen, udah kerja, udah punya co, mau apa lagi? Bentar lagi married lah, Yen'. Even nci gw yg tadi barusan nongol di kamar gw pny komentar, 'Eh, gw seumuran lo ga gt lama married lho' (Ih! Nih orang ga mendukung bgt sih masa dpn gw sbg wanita karier).

Nah, jadi kesimpulannya apa nih?

Well, emang ga salah kalo gw udah kerja. Dan emang ga salah juga kalo gw ga bakalan selamanya kerja terus tanpa mikirin masalah pribadi, spt jodoh misalnya (blm tentu sih, gw pny rncana jangka panjang, gmn kalo nanti gw udah suntuk ama hidup, mgkn ada enaknya jadi bhiksu). Dan emang ga salah juga kalo cewe yg udah punya cowo yg kira2 masa depannya ga gelap2 bgt, jadi punya harapan buat cepet2 married.

Oke Yenny. Anda belum menjawab prediksi dan pertanyaan dari para hadirin. Jadi, bagaimana prediksi anda ttg hidup anda, khususnya dalam masalah jodoh?

*ehm..hmm...* (sok diplomatis)

Oke. Fine. Gw kasih konfirmasi biar semuanya jelas. Biar ga ada yang penasaran lagi.

Jadi gini. Prediksi ttg apakah gw akan merit dlm bbrp tahun mendatang itu sebenernya....

Ga pasti.

Ya iyaalaaahhh...Siapa juga yang tau.

Kali2 aja tar gw ketemu cowo tajir and keren kyk F4, ato Business Development Manager, CFO, Doctor, Lawyer, ato mungkin juga Artis!

Atau mungkin jg gw ga ketemu siapa2, karena ratio 1:4 antara cowo dan cewe, trs gw kebagian defisitnya!

Who knows?! Anything can happen kan?

Kangen Gila!

Seandainya sahabatku...
Dari luar angkasa...
Apa yang terjadi...
Oh mungkinkah?

Sejenak bintang utara...
Bermain dengan air...
Mengitari planet Saturnus...
Bersama-sama...

Kata-kata yang indah...
Tidaklah perlu...
Sungguh menyenangkan hati...
Hingga waktu pun terlupakan...

Planet Venus yg indah...
Seperti dari emas...
Tempat yang paling indah...
Yang pernah kau antar...

Indonesian version:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJO_TpZBEYs


Japanese version:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_m7vCy3soQ

My Voice is Crap

Help meeeee!

My voice is crap.

Try this one:

Record your own voice singing one of your favourite songs while you're pretending singing together with the singer (unlike the karaoke, turn on the audio).

Then, listen to the recording and you'll find that your own voice is ssooooooo F-A-L-S.

Crap.

Music Session 2: College Musical Rocks!!!

Oh no...Oh yes...

This is totally awesome.

Forgive my awesome-ness today, but these cool guys really make me saying that all the time.

Why?

If you really wanna know, check out Kurt Hugo Schneider and Sam Tsui in YouTube. These two guys work together to create a musical video. It's similar to gLee thingy but this is an original series created by themselves.

So, while Kurt loves making video, Sam is in love with singing. So then, they decided to make a movie with this musical theme. And it's totally AWESOME!

Check out "College Musical"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH0SoDcR3_A

And for Sam Tsui, he's really great. With his cover for 'Glee Cast - Don't Stop Believin' and 'Michael Jackson Medley', he really can melt every girl's hearts. Don't forget about Kurt who makes a really good video by multiplying  Sam in the video.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R12QVtuB0_Q

It IS totally AWESOME.

Geesh, I'd never get bored saying it today.

Another information, they are both studying in Yale University. So, yes, they're totally brainy left and right.

I envy them. Really...

But anyway, GOOD JOB for them. Can't wait for more videos :)

Music Session: On

D'oh.

My music playlist is totally Owe-full (read: awful).

Let me see. It's been two years ago...or even more since I bought an iPod and put all my song list in it. After six months or so, my iPod was totally out-of-date of songs.

Eugh.

Oke. Time to upgrade my playlist.

Start googling, imeeming, rapidsharing, youtubing, including watching TV and finding...

gLee.

Then I realise that these guys singing there in this TV series, are totally Awesome!

I actually watched the first episode sometime ago and I liked it. But then I thought the whole drama will be similar to the other teen movies.

And I'm wrong.

Every episode, they always sing one or two songs, either practicing, in audition, or performing. And again, they're totally awesome.

What's so awesome about them? Their voices. Their expression. Their feeling and emotion totally brought into the song. And so on and so on.

So thanks to Glee, I've got some new High Quality songs. What's is this HQ about? Means the quality of singing. I guess, I have no need to explain it further. As you might want to see it in your ear and feel it in your heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z86buiwwehI

When I'm Out from Under...

Breathe you out, breathe you in
You keep coming back to tell me
You're the one who could have been

And my eyes I see it all so clear
It was long ago and far away
But it never disappears

I try to put it in the past
Hold on to myself and don't look back

I don't wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I'm out from under

I don't wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I'll get it all figured out
When I'm out from under

So let me go
Just let me fly away
Let me feel the space between us
Growing deeper
And much darker every day

Watch me now and I'll be someone new
My heart will be unbroken
It will open up for everyone but you

Even when I cross the line
It's like a lie I've told a thousand times


I don't wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I'm out from under

I don't wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I'll get it all figured out
When I'm out from under

And part of me still believes when you say you're gonna stick around
And part of me still believes we can find a way to work it out
But I know that we tried everything we could try
So let's just say goodbye...

Forever...

I don't wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I'm out from under

I don't wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I'll get it all figured out
When I'm out from under

When I'm Out from Under...

Me and His Revelation

Hidup ini ga cuma belajar dari pengalaman pribadi. Seringkali manusia dipertemukan oleh banyak orang, mendengar cerita mereka, merasakan apa yg mereka alami, dan akhirnya bersyukur atas hidup yang telah mereka miliki selama ini. Karena ternyata seringkali hidup orang lain ga lebih enak dari hidup sendiri.

Kali ini gw mau sharing cerita seorang teman yang membuat gw cukup tersentuh. Seorang teman yang keliatannya santai2 aja hidupnya, tapi ternyata juga punya 'beban hidup' sendiri. Untuk menutupi identitasnya, lebih baik gw cerita dalam bentuk fiksi, tapi intinya tetep sama.

...

Huah...udah jam 11 malem, tidur ahh, pikirku sambil menengok jam dinding yang berdentang 11 kali.

Tapi ga mau kalah sama waktu, aku pun bandel ingin mengecek Facebook barang satu atau dua menit sebelum tidur. Kali-kali aja ada yang update status atau posting di wall gw, hihihi...


Tuh kan bener, dapet message. Siapa yah...



'Nie, gw besok bakal ke Sydney. Jamu gw yah...'

Wah! Si Radi mo ke sini. Tumben banget hari gini perginya. Libur kaga, nganggur iya kali nih anak, pikirku waktu itu. Tapi tanpa sadar, aku pun tersenyum membaca pesan itu sekali lagi. Mungkin karena aku sebenarnya senang juga ada teman yang berkunjung lagi ke kota Sydney, kota yang aku tinggali saat ini.

Sampai beberapa hari kemudian, Radi ga ada kabar beritanya. Padahal mestinya dia bisa telp gw, pasti dia masih punya no gw kan, gerutuku. Akhirnya, aku kirim pesan lewat Facebook. Kalo lewat facebook, pasti dia 'ngeh', hari gini orang2 bisa login FB 3 kali sehari.

Benar saja, keesokan harinya, dia membalas pesanku. Katanya sih, lagi sibuk jalan2 sama keluarga. Yah, makes sense sih, pikirku, om-tantenya di sini banyak, jadi yah pasti dia sibuk ditarik sana-sini. Oke lah, no problemo. Tunggu aja bentar lagi, pasti juga bakal ada waktunya buat ketemuan.

Akhirnya, ketika aku hampir lupa keberadaan Radi di Sydney, dia meneleponku. Kami pun mengobrol panjang lebar.
...
Aku: Kok tumben Di, lo dateng hari gini?

Radi: Iya, kan gw baru lulus. Masih nganggur ceritanya, trs bokap nawarin buat holiday ke sini.Yah, ga nolak deh gue.

Aku: Oh gitu. Eh, lu mau Master di sini kaga? Kata lo waktu terakhir dateng, pengen lanjut sekolah sini nih...ayoo...

Radi: Yah, sebenernya sih, gue juga ada tujuan laen ke sini. Rencana gue sih, gue pengen coba apply PR (note: Permanent Residence), mumpung ada tante gue yg bisa sponsorin. Tapi, gue lagi bingung juga nih, enakan Master dulu ato langsung apply PR aja ya?

Aku: Hmm..tergantung lo lah. Lo beneran mo sekolah lagi ga? Kalo iya sih, go ahead. Tapi kalo cuma buat PR, takutnya tar lo nyesel lagi nunggu kelamaan.

Radi: Yah, sebenernya sih gw tujuan utamanya buat PR. Soalnya kalo hidup di sini tuh enak buat orang tua.

Aku: Buat orang tua? Maksud lo?

Radi: Iya, sebenernya tujuan gw tuh pengen ngebawa bonyok gw ke sini. Soalnya lo tau sendiri, kalo di sini, ada jaminan kesehatan ama pensiun.

Aku: Iya sih...

Radi: Apalagi kesehatan. Penting banget tuh.Gue udah ngerasain sendiri, waktu nyokap gue operasi tumor otak taon kemaren...

Aku: Hah?! Oww...jadi nyokap lo gimana sekarang?

Radi: Udah ga papa, tapi semenjak hari itu, gue jadi mikir, kayaknya gue udah perlu serius.

Aku: Serius...ngejalanin hidup?

Radi: Yah..gitu deh. Udah bukan ABG lagi kan, jadi gue udah perlu mikir panjang, mikir ke depan. Khususnya buat bonyok gw, biar mereka hidupnya tenang. Tujuan gue sekarang biar gue bisa ke sini, kerja apa aja juga jadi, trus bisa bawa bonyok gw ntarannya.

Aku: I see...hmm...ga nyangka Di, mulia banget tujuan lo...

Radi: Biasa aja kok. Gue cuma concern ama bonyok gw aja. Nah, sekarang gw mau fokus dulu nih cari cara buat bisa apply PR.

Aku: Oke lah, gw dukung 100% usaha lo!
...

Radi...

yang jaman SMA sekolah ga pernah serius. Kerjaannya maen basket atau cari cewe. Kalo dapet nilai jelek, ketawa cengengesan, kalo lagi hoki dapet nilai bagus, tetep ketawa haha-hihi ga peduli. Kuliah juga ala kadarnya. Sampe akhirnya kenyataan memaksa otaknya untuk berpikir tentang masa depan.

Ketika kenyataan menyapanya dengan kata sambutan 'tumor otak' yang sedang mampir di tubuh mamanya. Di saat itulah, Radi ga mau menyambut kata penutupan dari kenyataan. Dia ga mau ada ceramah yang menjelaskan bahwa hidup ini singkat, dan kematian bisa menyapa siapa saja di mana saja dan kapan saja. Dia ga mau hidupnya sia-sia. At least, dia ingin bisa membahagiakan orang tuanya. Sekali saja dengan bangga punya anak seperti dia, dengan merasa bersyukur punya anak yang bisa menjaga orang tua sampai hari tua atau akhir hayat mereka.

Sekali saja. Itu sudah cukup.

ER - From Perth to Sydney

Bbrp hari yg lalu, gw mengalami 'national emergency' spt yg gw ceritain di postingan terakhir. Nah, untungnya, gw punya yang namanya ER (Emergency Rescuer). Dia khusus dateng jauh2 dari Perth ke Sydney buat kasih advice dan suggestion ttg apa yg semestinya orang2 lakukan dlm hidup mereka, khususnya buat org2 yg mengalami 'emergency matter' kyk gue.

And his name is Ajahn Brahm.

Yup, so he flew from Perth and arrived in Sydney yesterday for 4 days visit. He came to give talks during those 4 days including a meditation workshop that is held today. Tapi, sayangnya gw cuma bisa ikut satu dari 4 talks-nya berhubung waktunya lumayan malem buat gw. Anyway, I still considered that he came to 'rescue' my life and any other lives.

So then he talked and talked and talked. What was he talking about? The topic yesterday is called 'What's wrong with me?' I presumed the idea came from how people used to think that they are not good enough, they are not smart or not good enough in anything they do. But then, Ajahn Brahm said that NOthing is wrong with any of us.

Logikanya begini. Dalam hidup kita, manusia seringkali menyalahkan dirinya sendiri. Atau, manusia sering merasa bahwa dirinya itu 'jelek', ga ada apa2nya, pokoknya jadi seorang manusia yang ga berguna deh. Nah, padahal sebenernya kita tuh ga jelek2 banget. Karakter, kepribadian, cara pandang, tingkah laku setiap orang memang berbeda2 (sering dgr kan org bilang,'setiap manusia itu unik'). Nah, jadi bukan berarti kalo kita melakukan kesalahan, kita itu manusia ga berguna. Bukan berarti kalo kita merasa berbeda dari orang lain, kita itu manusia 'aneh'.

Ditambah lagi dengan kecenderungan tiap manusia utk tidak memuji diri sendiri. Seringkali, kalo kita udah berhasil melakukan sesuatu, tapi kita takut dianggap 'big head', kita trs menganggap bahwa kita ga pantes untuk memuji diri kita sendiri. Kita sering menganggap bahwa semestinya kita ga boleh menganggap diri kita itu berhasil, sukses, atau sejenisnya. Masih banyak org lain yg lebih sukses dari kita, dll. Begitu biasanya orang berpikir. Nah, tapi kalo dipikir2, ga ada salahnya juga untuk 'praise yourself', bilang ke diri sendiri bahwa kita pantes untuk dapet semua hal yang kita punya selama ini.

Karena, apa yang akan terjadi? If you can praise your self, you can praise the others. It's the same as the saying goes, 'What goes around, comes around'.

Contoh konkretnya, to make your self beautiful. Ga cewe ato cowo, seringkali kita ngerasa diri kita itu kurang cakep, jelek, muka lecek, badan pendek, gendut, ceking, dll. Nah, sebenarnya balik lagi ke diri kita. Kalo kita mulai 'praise ourselves' by saying, 'well, gw ga jelek2 bgt koq,' atau 'well, gw pendek sih, tapi justru malah keliatan cute,' atau 'well, untungnya gw masih punya anggota tubuh yg lengkap'. Dari situ, kita bakal bisa menghargai apa yg kita punya, menganggap diri ga jelek2 bgt, dan akhirnya juga bisa menghargai orang lain.

Jadi, kalo ada temen yg suka bilang, 'si A jelek bgt mukanya' atau 'si B kakinya aneh', dll. Gw rasa dia belum bisa menghargai diri sendiri. No offense, but I do have such a friend, a good-looking man with that kind of speech, minus 1 for personality.

Anyway, back to the topic. Jadi, apa hubungannya Ajahn Brahm's talk ama 'national emergency' gw?

Balik lagi ke topic 'What's wrong with me?' with the answer of 'Nothing wrong for having a nightmare'.

Yah, mungkin gw mesti balik lagi berpikir bahwa sebuah mimpi itu adalah hasil dari kekuatan di alam bawah sadar kita. Jadi mungkin memang gw harus menerima kenyataan kalo gw masih harus belajar byk untuk bisa jadi orang yg sabar, forgiving others, toleransi ama yg lain, dll. So, simply, there's nothing wrong with me.

In addition, selama ini gw juga punya satu masalah. Gw sering merasa bahwa gw berada di outer zone of a certain community. Gw ngerasa kalo objective dan cara pandang gw berbeda dari komunitas itu. Tapi, di satu sisi, mereka semua adalah salah satu kumpulan manusia terbaik yg pernah gw ketemu dalam hidup gw. So, I started to create my own dilemma. Either gw mau quit or keep staying in their zone and adjust myself.

Nah, setelah denger Ajahn Brahm kemaren, akhirnya gw decided untuk pergi. Meskipun sebenernya hal ini udah gw pikirin berbulan2 yg lalu, tapi kali ini I determined myself that I will go away and find my own right place. Surely, there will be a right place for me somewhere else in this world coz nothing's wrong for being different to the others.

Scary Me. Stupid Me.

Mengerikan.

Itu kata pertama yg ada dalam otak gw setelah berusaha mencerna arti mimpi gw kemaren malem.

Mimpi gw kemaren bisa gw kategorikan sebagai salah satu mimpi terburuk yang pernah gw dapet.

Ga ada hantu. Ga ada binatang buas. Ga ada darah.

Yang ada cuma manusia yang masih hidup, masih eksis di dunia ini, tapi gw ga pernah bertatap muka secara langsung.

Trus, apanya yang menakutkan?

Kejadian yang ada dalam mimpi itu jadi menakutkan buat mental gw. Bukan karena physical happeningnya, tapi meaning dari kejadian yang gw mimpiin.

This November - Celebrating The BabyGifthings

Apa yang perlu dipersiapkan calon ayah dan ibu yang akan menyambut kelahiran sang anak? Materi dan Mental.

Apa yang perlu dipersiapkan oleh keluarga dari calon ayah atau ibu dalam rangka menyambut kelahiran seorang anggota keluarga baru? Materi tentu saja.

Lebih tepatnya, menyiapkan kado yang akan diberikan kepada calon orang tua tersebut. Idealnya, kado tersebut harus bermanfaat untuk si bayi ketika ia lahir.

Jadi, kado apa yang paling cocok?

Nah, jawabannya ini yang memusingkan.

Ceritanya, weekend kemaren gw muter2 shopping centre buat cari kado yg cocok buat calon keponakan gw. Sebelumnya, gw ga ada bayangan pasti mo beli apa dan hampir seminggu gw mikirin barang apa yang bakal berguna buat si bayi. Emang sih, keliatannya ga susah, apalagi kebutuhan bayi kan banyak jadi pasti apapun yang dikasih bakal berguna juga. Nah, 'teorinya' sih gampang, tapi prakteknya...Alamak..ga heran orang bilang jadi orang tua tuh susah. Jgnkan jadi orang tua, gw yang cuma mo kasih barang aja udah pusing tujuh keliling.

Oke. Sekarang gw mo coba buat list kebutuhan bayi:

1. Ranjang Bayi
2. Kursi makan bayi
3. Kereta dorong
4. Ember mandi bayi
5. Baju2
6. Selimut2 plus wrapper (itu loh, yg kain buat bedong bayi, khususnya buat bayi yang baru lahir)
7. Kursi bayi yang di atasnya digantung mainan2
8. Bantal-guling bayi
9. Botol2 susu, empeng, and food container yg kecil2 khusus buat feeding bayi
10. Tempet duduk bayi yang buat dipasang di mobil
11. Tas perlengkapan bayi
12. Tempet 'ee' bayi yg bisa training mereka biar tar bisa 'ee' sendiri di kakus
13. Popok bayi  plus Tong sampah khusus buat popok kotor
14. Sabun, shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, etc
15. Wiper - tisu khusus buat ngelap bayi
16. Mobil2an - tapi ini kalo bayinya udah gedean
17. Bottle Sterilizer - yang buat sterilize botol2 susu sebelum dikasih ke bayi
18. dll
19. dll
20. dll

Kayaknya kalo gw pikirin terus, tuh list bakal ga ada abisnya. Kalo liat dari list di atas, kyknya sih ga susah nentuin apa yang bisa dikasih. Tapi justru, decision-makingnya itu yang bikin rambut gw tambah keriting. Karena gw terus ngebandingin barang apa yang lebih berguna. Contohnya, gw bisa eliminate point 1 - 5, karena mereka udah nyiapin barang2 itu. Dan pilihan gw mulai dipersempit jadi selimut2 bayi, tas perlengkapan bayi (incl. shampoo dkk), popok bayi dan bottle sterilizer.

Menurut gw, selimut itu penting banget, apalagi cuaca Sydney yg lebih sering dingin drpd panasnya. Gw aj suka bete ama cuaca yg terus2an berangin n dingin, gmn bayi yg baru lahir.

Tapi, barang2 perlengkapan juga ga kalah penting. Pastinya, bayi yang baru lahir harus terus dimandiin, dibedakin, dikasih baby oil, dikasih lotion biar kulitnya alus terus ampe umur tua, dan seterusnya.

Note: what a very-lucky-baby my nephew is! LV rocks start from 1hr old, yeah!

Nah, apalagi popok yang bakal ganti minimal 3 kali sehari, tergantung kadar urine atau 'ee' yang bakal dikeluarin tiap hari. Ga lupa juga kalo bayi harus terus minum susu, entah itu asi ato susu kaleng. Itu berarti, botol2 susu juga ga kalah penting buat disterilize biar terus hygienis n aman buat si bayi.

Haiyaa....repot amat aaah....

Pengennya gw beliin barangnya kalo bayinya udah lahir aja kali ya. Jadi tar tau barang apa yg dibutuhkan, apa yang paling penting dan apa yang harus terus ada (stock of goods).

Masalahnya, gw udah 'ditagih' ama si calon ibu buat kado acara tujuh-bulanan-nya dia (note: It's called 'Baby Shower' where people are invited to 'celebrate' the 7-months pregnancy and they usually give the gifts on that event. That's what I heard). Dan yang lebih parahnya lagi, si calon ibu juga udah kasih 'ultimatum' ke gw, kalo Chinese New Year 2010, anaknya bakal mesti dapet ang pao dari gw.

Haiyaa...nih tantenya belom married ah....pantang kasih2 ang pao larrr....

Udah atau Belum?

2 days to go...

to Halloween celebration.

It's not that I'm joining some kind of party or going down to roads in city to do trick-or-treat. Tapi, gw lebih concern sama tanggalnya. Apa artinya tgl 31 Oktober?

Well, menurut gw, tanggal itu lumayan penting. Penting karena itu artinya taon 2009 tinggal tersisa 2 bulan lagi. Nah, typically speaking, semua orang pasti bilang 'Ga kerasa ya...' or 'Time flies...' or something similar.

Jelas. Mau ga mau, suka ga suka, waktu itu menurut gue adalah salah satu kekuatan di dunia yang ga bisa dikalahkan oleh apapun juga. Maksudnya di sini, ga ada yang bisa menghentikan waktu. Mau lu copot batere jam lu, mau lu cepetin ato lambetin waktu (daylight saving contohnya), waktu akan terus berjalan maju dan ga akan pernah berhenti.

Jadi, apa gunanya mikirin waktu yang pasti terus berjalan dan ga bisa diubah?

Buat gw, mikirin waktu bisa digunakan buat refleksi diri. Itu kalimat intinya. Selain itu, karena gw ga tau bakal mati kapan, gw pny keinginan supaya gw bisa melakukan byk hal sebelum ninggalin dunia.

Oke. Di sini gw mau coba buat 'list' apa aja yang udah ato belum gw lakukan di tahun 2009.

Yang Udah

1. Trip to Melbourne - akhirnya setelah gw tunda2 selama 2 tahun, termasuk pernah gw cancel di taon 2008 krn gw jadinya berangkat ke Christchurch, gw pergi jg ke Melbourne, yang jaraknya cuma sekitar 1 jam dari Sydney (kalo naik pesawat). Dan penantian gw emg ga sia2, karena trnyata nih kota cantik banget. Gw suka banget ngeliatin bangunan2nya yg unik, art galleries, plus gw ktmu byk temen mulai dari temen SD, SMP ampe SMA. Komplit dah.

2. Stopover in Singapore - Biasanya buat orang2 Indo yg kalo pulang kampung pake pesawat SQ (Singapore Airlines), transit bbrp hari di Singapore itu udah wajar banget. Norak deh kalo belum pernah. Masalahnya gw baru norak taon ini. Dulu2 gw suka ganti2 pesawat, ditambah nyokap yg prefer anaknya harus cepet2 nyampe Jakarta langsung dari Sydney. Jadi, gw slalu ga pny kesempatan bwat mampir ke kota singa. Nah, mgkn lu bingung, emg apa bagusnya sih? Masalahnya lagi, dulu gw blm prnah ke kota yg jaraknya 1 jam naik pesawat dr Jakarta. Alasan bonyok dulu, 'Singapore kyk Jakarta. Rugi kalo ke sana'. Jadilah taon ini gw 'menggenapi' keinginan gw buat ke sana.

3. Pleasant holiday back to Indo - Dulu waktu gw masih uni, gw sejujurnya (unexpectedly) sering bolak-balik Indo. Hampir setiap liburan semester, gw balik Indo. Tapi, honestly gw selalu ngerasa ga hepi. Ada aja masalah yang terjadi waktu gw di Indo yang berujung kenangan liburan gw selama di Indo rasanya selalu pahit. Tapi taon ini, gw ngerasa liburan gw lmayan berisi dan menyenangkan. Itu semua karena:

a. Gw memperpendek waktu liburan gw di Indo -Pengalaman gw, kalo libur kelamaan dan ga ada kerjaan juga selama di Indo, ditambah temen2 yg sibuk kerja ato kuliah, liburan di Indo malah jadi ngebosenin.

b. Gw meluangkan waktu buat family - Jujur aja, dulu2 gw kyknya lebih sering pergi ama temen2 ketimbang ama keluarga sendiri. Bokap (yg notabene jrg comment) sampe complain ke gw. Nah, taon ini itung2 gw 'nebus dosa' ama mereka. Dan yg lebih asyiknya lagi, tahun ini gw ngerayain ultah khusus bareng mereka.

c. Gw pulang ke kampung emak/bapak - Ortu gw aslinya dari Pulau Bangka. Dulu, waktu oma gw meninggal, gw pernah ke sana, tapi itu waktu gw kelas 3 SD. Setelah itu, gw ga prnah ke sana lagi. Taon ini, akhirnya gw baru sempet ke Bangka. Itu pun juga karena oma gw dr pihak papa baru meninggal Desember taon lalu. Tapi gpp, trip gw selama di sana bnr2 asyik. Gw jadi ngerasa kyk salah seorang anak Laskar Pelangi, hehe...

4. Start hiking to the top of mountain - Maksudnya di sini, gw menganggap kesuksesan itu kayak berada di puncak gunung. Nah, in terms of career, pastinya gw jg mau jadi orang sukses (baik dalam hal financial maupun spiritual). Waktu uni, gw ambil jurusan accounting. Byk orang yg bilang kalo jadi accountant itu adalah salah satu prospek terbagus di dalam dunia bisnis. Gaji gede juga jabatan tinggi dalam sebuah korporasi (big corporations). Itu sih kalo udah bener2 sukses. Sedangkan gw, baru lulus uni Juni taon lalu, jadi jalan gw masih panjang. Tapi gpp, taon ini gw udah mulai berjalan di kaki gunung. Gw yakin kalo kerjaan gw sekarang, meskipun tidak menguntungkan secara finansial, tapi secara 'spiritual' dan intellectual, kerjaan gw ini bisa ngebuka jalan ke atas gunung.

5. Work-life Balance - Kayaknya istilah ini cukup populer di kalangan full-timer seperti gw. Kalo lu lagi suka nyari2 kerjaan, lu pasti suka liat di website2 company ditulis kalo mereka mendukung dan menyenangi orang yang bisa achieve work-life balance. Maksudnya di sini, orang tuh ga cuma bisa kerja terus 5 days a week, tapi mestinya kita juga punya 'life', like social life, spiritual life, etc. Gw pribadi setuju bgt ama prinsip ini. Makanya selama taon ini, gw meng-aktif-kan diri dalam kegiatan2 vihara khususnya dalam hal musik (mskipun skrg udah jauh berkurang). Dan syukur banget, bbrp bulan lalu, gw bisa buat lagu sendiri. Meskipun ga sempurna dan mgkn level 'ecek2', tapi oke lah buat pemula.

Yang Belom

1. Jadi orang sehat - Kali ini gw ngaku. Gw ga sehat. Setelah akhirnya gw sadar kalo gw udah naek 7 kg selama gw di Sydney, orang2 mulai komen kalo muka gw bulet. Even nyokap gw bilang badan gw bulet. Yah mo gimana lagi, badan cuma 150 lebih dikit. Ga heran kan kalo gw jadi keliatan bulet meskipun baru naek bbrp kilo. Nah, akhirnya gw sadar kalo gw perlu olahraga. Selama ini gw paling ga suka olahraga, makanya wkt sekolah nilai gw yg plg jelek pasti OR. Pertama ada yg nyaranin supaya gw lari pagi aja. Tapi karena gw males bgn pagi (apalagi kl weekend), ide itu gw tolak. Nah, trs gw kepikiran, gmn kalo gw ikutan nge-gym. Kan keren tuh gayanya, kesannya lebih e-li-te daripada lari pagi. Tapi, karena aslinya gw males keringetan and cape, rencana itu gatot (gagal total). Dan, berakhirlah gw dengan olahraga 'Berjalan Kaki' yang notabene gw lakuin setiap hari, dari rumah ke station ke destination dan arah sebaliknya.

2. Jadi cewek gaul atau feminin - Kalo gw lagi jalan, gw suka merhatiin orang2 lain, khususnya cewek2. Gw sadar, sense-of-fashion gw bnr2 terbatas. Makanya kadang2 gw suka ngeliatin cewek2 lain, pgn tau aja, sebenernya apa yang bisa ngebuat mereka lebih keliatan 'cewe' ato lebih 'gaul/trendy'.

Mungkin utk bisa jadi lebih feminin, gw mesti pake baju2 yang berenda2 ala baju2 dari Cina ato Hong Kong ditambah dengan sepatu yang at least harus ada heelsnya 1-2 cm. Atau kalo typicalnya cewe Indo di sini, rambut lurus panjang sepunggung, pirang (jangan lupa), sepatu ato sendal berheel 1-2 cm, ditambah jgn lupa, menyandang tas Louis Vuitton.

Atau kalo mau jadi cewek gaul, mgkn gw harus berdandan sedikit lebih funky kyk orang2 Jepang, jgn lupa rambutnya harus ditata sedemikian rupa plus make-up yg lmayan tebel biar muka kyk boneka. Atau, typicalnya cewe Indo, rambut hitam lurus panjang berponi miring, baju casual polos ditambah scarf ato selendang batik, skinny jeans, sepatu flat, ditambah tote bags yang sizenya biasanya lebih gede dari orangnya.

Hmm....probably gw lebih milih....jadi...gw aja.

3. Jadi orang produktif - Gw sering ngerasa gw orangnya ga produktif. Sering buang2 waktu dengan ngelakuin hal2 yang ga penting. Misalnya kalo weekend, abis lunch, jalan2 bentar sekitar city, trs laper, trs makan lagi sorenya (ngemil gt istilahnya). Abis itu, ga lama kemudian udah malem, waktunya dinner, makan lagi deh. Jadi kok kyknya seharian kerjaan gw cuma makan, nurunin mknan, makan, nurunin mknan, mandi, tidur ya? Hm...mulai taon dpn (alesan gw bgt, pdhal bisa dimulai kpn aja), gw mau coba lebih produktif. Secara waktu ga bisa diulang, mestinya gw gunain waktu sebaik mgkn dengan nge-blog misalnya, ato buat lagu lagi, buat cerita maybe, ato belajar! Nah..ide bagus kyknya...

Yah apapun itu, yang terjadi biarlah terjadi. Gw bisa punya banyak rencana buat taon depan ato waktu2 di masa mendatang, tapi pada akhirnya, ga semuanya bisa terlaksana karena gw yakin byk unplanned things yg bakal terjadi di taon depan. Whatever it is, I think I'm getting ready from now on.