Love and Romance: In The Eyes of Buddhism

Still from Ajahn Brahm's book, Opening the Door of Your Heart, I found these stories below are hilarious so then I thought it will be great if I can share the laughter to all of you...

Romance

When we are in love, we see only the 'good bricks' in our partner's wall. That is all we want to see, so that is all we do see. We are in denial. Later, when we go to our lawyer to file for divorce, we only see the bad bricks in our partner's wall. We are blind to any redeeming qualities. We don't want to see those, so we don't see them. We go into denial again.

Why is it that romance happens in a darkly lit nightclub, or at an intimate dinner by candlelight, or at night under the moonlight? it is because, in those situations, you can't see all her pimples, or his false teeth. But under candlelight, our imagination is free to fantasise that the girl sitting opposite could be a supermodel, or the man has the looks of a movie star. We love to fantasise, and we fantasise to love. At least we should know what we're doing.

Monks aren't into candlelit romance. They're into turning up the lights on reality. If you want to dream, don't visit a monastery. In my first year as a monk in northeast Thailand, I was travelling in the back of a car with two other Western monks, and with Ajahn Chah, my teacher, sitting in the front passenger seat. Ajahn Chah suddenly turned around and looked at the young American, novice monk sitting next to me, and then said something in Thai. The third Western monk in the car was fluent in Thai and translated for us: 'Ajahn Chah says that you are thinking about your girlfriend back in L.A.'

The jaw of the American novice dropped almost to the floor. Ajahn Chah had been reading his thoughts - accurately. Ajahn Chah smiled, and his next words were translated as, 'Don't worry. We can fix that. Next time you write to her, ask her to send you something personal, something intimately connected to her, which you can bring out whenever you miss her, to remind you of her.'

For What's Done is Finished

People love stories. People love to hear other people's stories as if their stories are more interesting than our own life-stories. Now, let me tell you about this story from one of the Buddhist monks whom I currently admire, Ajahn Brahm. He is well-known with his capabilities of giving us, Buddhist lay people, the Dhamma teachings with simple yet deeply meaningful stories. These are real stories and I strongly believe that everyone, regardless of any religion, will be able to take the meaning of the story...

What's Done is Finished

The monsoon in Thailand is from July to October. During the period, the monks stop travelling, put aside all work projects and devote themselves to study and meditation. The period is called 'Vassa' or the 'Rains Retreat'.

In the south of Thailand some years ago, a famous abbot was building a new hall in his forest monastery. When the Rains Retreat came, he stopped all work and sent the builders home. This was the time for quiet in his monastery.

A few days later a visitor came, saw the half-constructed building and asked the abbot when his hall would be finished. Without hesitation, the old monk said, 'The hall is finished.'

'What do you mean, "The hall is finished"?' the visitor replied, taken aback. 'It hasn't got a roof. There are no doors or windows. There are pieces of wood and cement bags all over the place. Are you going to leave it like that? Are you mad? What do you mean,"The hall is finished"?'

The old abbot smiled and gently replied,'What's done is finished.' and then he went away to meditate.

That is the only way to have a retreat or to take a break. Otherwise our work is never finished.